“Forever Single”

February 12, 2013



Valentine’s Day is just a couple days away. I still stand by my belief that couples should not just celebrate their love for one another on one day, but every day. However, that is not the point of this ledger. No, this go around I wanted to fully explain why I, Linear Ranger, will always be single from here to my death bed.


Before some of you can say, “Oh he’s protesting too much,” let me say that I’m always coming up against individuals who give the old “there’s somebody for everybody” speech. Well, I am here to explain why that does not apply to me, and hopefully finally put this issue to rest. Granted there will still be those that will continue to argue against my ideas, but that’s their problem. ;P


The reasons why I always have been, and always will be single are broken down as follows:


Nerd

I am a nerd, plain and simple. Now I’m not saying all nerds can not find love, just myself. There is not a day in my life that I do not spend some amount of time dedicated to Power Rangers, Doctor Who, or some other nerd related topic. I think about the shows themselves, work on my websites that are Power Rangers related, film reviews about said series toys, read internet sites about nerdy shows & topics, and of course toy hunt. In fact my collection of toys is enough to send any sane woman running for another continent. I enjoy being a nerd and I do not hide it. I’ll wear nerd t-shirts and even Power Ranger Morphers out in public. Should anyone ever ask me what I consider myself, I’ll always proudly answer, “I’m a nerd.”


So why does this count as a strike against me? Simple, society does not like nerds. Of course people will make The Big Bang Theory the most watched comedy, they’ll enjoy their HD TVs, play video games with the latest graphics, and stand in line for the newest Apple product. However, all the nerds that make all these things possible? Ha, society will shun them and act like they should stay in the dark, like trolls under a bridge.


Probability

I never attempt anything that I am not sure I have a good chance of success with. I am a perfectionist in that way. When I dive into something, I give it everything I’ve got, and at the end, I expect to see success waiting for me. Now when the divorce rate in the United States stands at 50%, that is certainly not a wise bet in my book. I like having control of my life & destiny, so why should I risk my record on essentially a coin toss? I’d much rather buy lottery & scratcher tickets.


Looks

Let’s cut the lies here. Relationships start with appearance. It’s just human nature. So my appearance is certainly a deterrent. I’m not saying I’m Elephant Man Ugly, but I am not what I would subject someone to have to look at each day. Add in the fact that I’m short and balding, and you’ve got one lethal dose of “Oh please no” looks. Yet I’m okay with my looks.


Family First

For some very strange reason, society feels that everyone should go through the teenage phase of hating their family. This of course carries on as the teen goes to college. Then they graduate and move far away from their family. I never understood this idea, and thus never went through any of that. I love and appreciate my mother & father. They are my strongest supporters, and I will never stop loving them. Why society thinks that you should have a distant love/hate relationship, with those who brought you into the world, is completely beyond my comprehension.


Loyalty

If it’s one thing I’ve learned for seeing others play the game of love, it’s that there is no such thing as loyalty. Society no longer believes in loyalty for relationships. This is evident again in the 50% divorce rate. For me, when I like or enjoy something, I remain completely loyal to it. Just look at my enjoyment of Power Rangers & Doctor Who. Also, I am correct in calling love a game, as it boils down to just a ton of mind tricks and games, seeing who can outlast or crack.


Oklahoma

While I may live in Oklahoma, the majority of people here are not exactly too kind towards nerds. So why do I stay here? Well besides being the home of my family, I figured I might as well stick around to cause trouble. ;)


So there you have them. Six valid reasons why I shall forever remain single in my living life. I’m sure there are those out there who are trying to play psychologist. They’re likely saying, “Oh, his parents must be divorced. This is why he feels this way.” My parents have been happily together for over 35 years. So try again Doc, if that’s what helps you sleep at night. Also no, these are not the words of some angry or depressed individual. I realized a long time ago that I’d always be single, and I’m quite content with it. I still enjoy living my own life, by my own rules, to the fullest.


Now don’t misunderstand me. I do not discourage anyone from love. In fact, I fully support EVERYONE in finding love. I just hope everyone knows what love truly is, because I can say society, as a whole, certainly does not.


So I’ll close out by wishing everyone a Happy Valentine’s Day. As for me, well I’ll stick with these words from another great Bon Jovi song...


“It’s no big secret, so forget all you’ve heard.

Love ain’t nothin’ but a four letter word.

For some it’s a blessing.

For some it’s a curse.

Love ain’t nothin’ but a four letter word.

Love ain’t nothin’.”



ALLONS-Y!


 

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