“This Chapter Draws to a Close”

March 1, 2012


Well viewers, it has now been one month since the journey began. On Thursday, February 2, 2012 I began my quest to come to terms with my past, and try to reconnect with those from my past. Now, after essentially a month, I can say this chapter is done.


If you have followed my Tweets the past month, or have read most of the ledger entries from the past month, you know the almost non-stop wondering & workings I went through. From questioning so many aspects of my past, my own actions and how life would be different, to trying several different avenues of attempting to contact those from my past to apologize. So where do things stand now?


Well I am in a different place than I was over a month ago. I feel much better about myself and life itself. I am back to fully embracing my “Nothing Is Impossible” saying. As for the three friends from my past, that is more of a mixed bag.


The quiet “sparrow” friend I have gotten back in touch with. I wrote her a letter & mailed it snail mail. She later called me on the phone and I look forward to us having contact via phone calls a few times a year perhaps.


Then there’s the “artist” friend, the one that wrote the email on January 4, 2003. I tried a normal typed out & snail mailed letter with him, only to have it returned due to no forwarding address. So I later tried another online means of contacting him, which did not receive any response until I probably forced the issue too much by contact his father via email. Yeah, I came off a bit too strong. He  did contact me via email. He and I spoke briefly on the phone. As for the future? Well, I don’t think things will ever return to the way they were. We’ve both changed in life, different goals, different dreams, etc... But if he does still want to stay in contact, at least through emails, that is still fine with me.


Finally there is the “independent” friend, she is the one I was told could not stand me. While I came off too strong with the “artist”, with the “independent” friend I really forced the issue too far. The grand total of messages/contacts I tried sending her came to, I believe, five. So yes, WAY too strong in this instance. So much so that with one of the online ways I tried to contact her through, she has now taken it offline. Well I said I wanted to act more like the 10th Doctor, so I guess having the ability to send someone into hiding on the internet, could actually count as me being “The On Coming Storm”.



That is where things remain for the past friendships. Am I upset by any of the outcomes? Honestly? No, I’m not and I’m really okay with all the actions I took over the past month. When I look back at the steps I took and the way I acted, I’m really kinda proud. It took real courage to face & do everything I did. Was it all done too fast & too forceful? Perhaps to some. Though for me, I’ve realized that’s just my style now. Much like the 10th Doctor, when I get excited and ready, I go full force right into what I’m going for. It’s something that I really like about myself now. I’m not a sit back, wait & hope type anymore. I’m the get up, go out & get it type. Nothing ventured, nothing gain.



To draw this all to a close now, I want say this. I am very happy with all I have learned this past month. I can now look back on my past and enjoy all those great memories. I still wish all those from my past the very best in all they do in their future. Now I see that my life is very much like traveling in the Tardis, a wild & exciting adventure where you never know what is ahead of you. So here we go, onwards, where Nothing Is Impossible!


ALLONS-Y!


 

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